The Line between Love and Disagreements – A Teen Perspective
Fights between Parents and Teenagers
Teenager Take:As a teenager, I have had fights with my parents, and probably will in the future. It is my teen nature. They will say the wrong thing and so will I. It is a process. And if you’re the first child, it’s not just a process for you, but also a new process for them. But what I have learned is that they do understand, even though most of the time we teens say they don’t. The times have changed since they were our age, but the basic lessons and principles still apply, just maybe in new ways. Like bullying – same principles and lessons as they learned, but now it can be cyber-bulling, which our parents did not experience when they were growing up.
You will hit each other’s nerves, it is a given. You know each other so well it is bound to happen. You probably can’t stop all the fighting, but maybe by communicating more it will become less frequent. Remember, you know what pushes your parent’s buttons, so be aware of what will happen when you do. It usually makes the situation worse. I often try to fix things with my mom when we get a fight, but sometimes when I do, I can make it worse. Sometimes when you try to make it better, things get messed up. It happens with me. It will happen with you. And it is important to remember that we all have bad days and sometimes you just have to recognize that…your parent may just be in a bad mood. Try and give them some slack when you can.
So when you have a fight with a parent, try to look at your part and get the fight over with. Resolve it the best you can. I know that sometimes this is not easy…believe me, I know. But you know, like me, that your parents love you and that is why they get on our nerves. Part of that frustration is because we don’t know all the stuff they do. And we just don’t want to hear it sometimes, so we just walk away. And sometimes they don’t want to hear us…so they walk away. When my mom and I do sit down together, after we have calmed down, most of the time we can come up with an agreement of some kind.