Being Raised as a Gifted Child – A Teen Perspective

As a gifted kid (whatever that means!) I feel I need to be perfect. And it’s not like I don’t I have enough to deal with in my teenage life. I feel like I need to make no mistakes, ask no questions, and know the answer to every problem. How unrealistic is that?  Sometime these are the thoughts in my head, and sometimes they come from someone else’s mouth. Both are based on the idea that I must be perfect. That is how I see it. At times, I like being titled as a gifted kid, but then other times I don’t like it at all because I feel any mistake I make is SO big that it makes me feel a failure. People might not actually say I need to be perfect, but  sometimes their reactions make it feel that way.  All A’s might not be expected, but what about the disappointment you feel from others when you bring home the Honor Roll with your name on it for the first time, but there is a B on your grades.  It is still not Honor Roll. It almost seems that the B is evil. What does B stand for? Brilliant or Belittled? I feel horrible having to explain why I got a C on the big final math test for the grading period. Was it that important? In the end, I still did OK, right?

My mom says she is so proud of me, but then she questions me on why I didn’t ask for help if I didn’t understand something. I take that to be disappointment from her in me. For some reason, since I have this label on me, I feel that I should not have to ask any questions. I am trying to work on this, because I now realize if I don’t understand something and I do ask for help, I find out how to get the answers I am looking for.

Is Honor Roll bad because it’s not Principal’s List?  I think it means I did a really good job, but sometimes it seems like it is not good enough. I think everyone really wants me to get all A’s so I set a bigger reward. OK, my mom will say she doesn’t expect that, but when she looks so disappointed and questions the grades, how do I not take that as expecting perfection? But does she really expect me to be perfect, or is it something I want for myself? It could be a bit of both…and I am beginning to realize that is a really hard goal to strive for – and probably an impossible one – and one not worth trying to reach.

About Amanda Davis

Amanda Davis is a typical teenage girl who enjoys painting, writing and shopping. When she is not busy doing homework or reading, you may find her watching TV or hanging out with her friends. She lives in Florida with her parents, and is a contributor to the Ask Amy column on the Brave New Leaders website.

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